Hipster Union

Earlier this morning, I posted an entry about my XBOX 360’s blog, about how it was alone and scared. A couple hours later, I got a comment from j.altan@gmail.com which contained only one word: “tool.” What to make of this one-word comment.

Is he saying I should have used tools to fix my own console? I lack the technical prowess. Plus, as stated, it’s a manufacturing defect which rightfully should be repaired at the expense of the manufacturer. Perhaps he is asking to borrow a tool from me? I have many. Do you need a screwdriver? A socket wrench? A drill? Please clarify. Is he asking if I like prog-rock band TOOL? I do not.

(more…)

Sphere: Related Content

(more…)

I apologize for the general crappiness of the posting of late.  This goes for the infrequent posting as well as the general shoddiness of the posts.  As is obvious, I fell off the wagon.  I don’t have a regular posting schedule, which I really should have.  Year One was a good showing.  Year Two, not so much. Sphere: Related Content

It’s the one year anniversary of “Why Your Pony Died” so to celebrate, I put up the list again.  In case you were wondering, Pretty Princess Sparkle Mane is still dead by the roadside, mouldering with the sound of flies buzzing all around while the stink of her rotten carcass fills the air.  For the record, it wasn’t the barrettes that killed your pony; she would just rather be dead than associate with you. Sphere: Related Content

Your pony died…

(more…)

Here’s the Character Sheet for Jesus if he was a high-powered AD&D character. “Jesus rolls a 14 and once again, Jesus Saves.”

Just a little stupidity I felt like posting, keeping up my completely sacreligious mood. I guess Pesach just heightened my awareness of some of the goofiness of organized religion. Also, the Christian Conservatives make it so easy to make fun of Jesus.

Jesus has a 30 in Constitution which gives Him a +10 modifier to His saving throws. His 23 in Wisdom gives Him a +6 bonus to sense who will betray Him. Jesus also gets a movement bonus from His +2 Sandals of Striding. He is an Epic Cleric and can cast Resurrection twice a day. He can also cast Cure Serious Wounds once a day and Cure Blindness once a day. After becoming a Level 23 Messiah, Jesus gaining Spontaneous Casting (Cure Light Wounds). Because Jesus is half-celestial (son of God, yo! Respect!), He has darkvision to 60 ft.

And remember, if Jesus is killed, three days later, He comes back to life thanks to His “Spurn Death’s Touch” epic level feat. I wonder if He gets a bonus against kobolds. Boy, it’s a good thing I don’t believe in hell or I’d really be in trouble.

That’s right. Jesus was a cleric, proving that “Cleric” isn’t a completely p**sy-class. Now to finish the character sheets for the rest of the party, including Peter the Paladin, Thomas the Barbarian, and Judas the True Neutral Ranger. (more…)

Sphere: Related Content